Friday, September 6, 2019

Life Changes

My husband died. Sometimes I still can't believe it. Everything happened so fast, too. He came down with Colitis and was in the hospital for several days. Then he was home and things were going okay. Then he got C-Diff, which was something new to me. He was air-lifted to another hospital in a neighboring state. By the time I got there he was under sedation. He was there a few days and he died there. Suddenly I'm a widow and my kids no longer have one of their parents. I'm in the process of becoming a substitute teacher because his life insurance money won't last forever. We buried him in the same cemetery as our youngest child. I bought the plot next to his. We had a funeral service in his hometown and a memorial service in our town. I still talk to him. I wonder what he is saying to me, since he can hear everything. I can't help but wonder why this has happened. Was his journey really over? Had he completed his purpose in life? People keep asking me how I'm doing. Truth is, I don't know. I'm still alive. I'm not in bed, though I am tired a lot more often now. The kids are doing awful. They constantly fight with each other. School just started two weeks ago and I've already gotten a call from the school guidance counselor. They need to just ignore each other. That would be a great improvement. 

Emmy has a tonsillectomy scheduled for next month. It will be great for her to be able to breathe better. Now, when she is active she feels like her throat is too tight for her to breathe and she wakes up in the night because it hurts to breathe. The ENT doctor was very concerned by this, so we set an appointment. it's about a month away and then she'll be home for a couple of weeks. 

Andy doesn't have anything major happening soon. We are just trying to get him to pass his classes. He doesn't like to do his homework and what he does do is never completed. 

Wednesday, February 27, 2019

Wow, I really need to keep up on this blog. This is my only journal and I know that journaling is important, but I never seem to think about it. Let's see, what's been going on since last year. I ran away and joined the circus. I walk the tight rope now. Wait, that's not right, I never ran away. Must have been a dream. I just signed Emmy up for softball again. I need to find a sport for Andy to participate in. He mostly just likes video games, but he does go outside a lot as well, especially when we watch Emmy in softball. We still live in the house we bought almost two years ago. At church I work with the teenage girls. Still hoping they ask me to go to Girls Camp. I went last summer and it was so fun and I was happy to be there. If they don't ask me to go then I'll just go up one evening. I wish they would ask for any volunteers, but they ask specific people. Emmy had a lot of fun last year for her first year and this year a good friend of hers get to go so that will be great. Haven't heard yet when the boys are going camping. I ask just about every Sunday at church, but nobody ever seems to know. I wish the men were as organized as the women. It would make my summer planning much easier. Maybe I'll call some higher-ups and remind them to get things going or give us the info. I don't have to be timid all the time, just sometimes.