Friday, September 6, 2019

Life Changes

My husband died. Sometimes I still can't believe it. Everything happened so fast, too. He came down with Colitis and was in the hospital for several days. Then he was home and things were going okay. Then he got C-Diff, which was something new to me. He was air-lifted to another hospital in a neighboring state. By the time I got there he was under sedation. He was there a few days and he died there. Suddenly I'm a widow and my kids no longer have one of their parents. I'm in the process of becoming a substitute teacher because his life insurance money won't last forever. We buried him in the same cemetery as our youngest child. I bought the plot next to his. We had a funeral service in his hometown and a memorial service in our town. I still talk to him. I wonder what he is saying to me, since he can hear everything. I can't help but wonder why this has happened. Was his journey really over? Had he completed his purpose in life? People keep asking me how I'm doing. Truth is, I don't know. I'm still alive. I'm not in bed, though I am tired a lot more often now. The kids are doing awful. They constantly fight with each other. School just started two weeks ago and I've already gotten a call from the school guidance counselor. They need to just ignore each other. That would be a great improvement. 

Emmy has a tonsillectomy scheduled for next month. It will be great for her to be able to breathe better. Now, when she is active she feels like her throat is too tight for her to breathe and she wakes up in the night because it hurts to breathe. The ENT doctor was very concerned by this, so we set an appointment. it's about a month away and then she'll be home for a couple of weeks. 

Andy doesn't have anything major happening soon. We are just trying to get him to pass his classes. He doesn't like to do his homework and what he does do is never completed.